he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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