How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
