Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
