can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
