I wanna bring you to show and tell
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
