Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
