You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
