She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
