that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
