Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
