Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
