are you so shy because you have an std?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
