10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
