There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
