I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
