I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
