My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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