Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
