we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
