I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
