"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
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