hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
