So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
