I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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