well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
