jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
