so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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