I wish life had little blips of pornography
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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