Midget sex pt 2 tonight
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
one might say we're banned from that church
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
