Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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