I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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