he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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