We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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