I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I can't put those talents on a resume
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize