My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
