I wanna bring you to show and tell
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
