Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
im holly from the hills drunk
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
