You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
