I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
