I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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