the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize