he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
