I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
