My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize