You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
