The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
