I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
