1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
