i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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