So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
