Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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