I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
