she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I deserve this hangover.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
