it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Randomize
