It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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