She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
