And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize