Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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