so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
