is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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