Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
