Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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