So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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