Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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